KG Korner page 5

Komedy Korner

Battle Hymn Of Schutzhund

Mine eyes have seen the terror of the coming schutzhund trial,
I have handed in my scorebook, but my brain is in denial,
I'll be looking for the port-a-potty in a little while,
I wish I'd stayed in bed.

Glory, glory, with a lightning fast retrieve,
Glory, glory, with a full grip on the sleeve,
A qualifying score is what I'm hoping to receive,
Because we train so hard!

I thought I was prepared to handle any circumstance,
My dog went down the first leg and I thought we had a chance,
Then he circled on the corner and I almost s**t my pants,
The points are coming off!

Glory, glory etc.

The judge gave me the signal and I gave my dog a call,
He hit me like a freight train and he nearly broke my balls,
I'd have me a chihuahua, if I had some sense at all!
The points are coming off!

Glory, glory, etc.

We went to do protection, it's his favorite part, you see,
I sent him out to search six blinds, he thought that he'd run three,
He ignored me for the callout, he can be so ornery!
The points are coming off!

Glory, glory, etc.

It's amazing, it's a wonder that we got a passing score!
My dog has done so many things he's never done before,
But this schutzhund is addictive, and we'll all be back for more,
I'm glad this trial is done!

Glory, glory, with a lightning fast retrieve,
Glory, glory, with a full grip on the sleeve,
A qualifying score is what I'm hoping to receive,
Because we train so hard!